Growing Pains
by Synthetic-Skywalker
Summary: Anakin's life is altered after the Clone War by the emergence of a young life he didn't know he brought into the galaxy. Even after living together, things are still difficult. When Anakin decides to take a break from the Jedi, he carries with him a dark secret, hidden from his son as well as his lover.
1. Chapter 1

**POV: Kylar Skywalker**

I'm seven years old and my daddy has been missing a lot. He leaves me with his droids and comes home every few weeks or every few months. I hate him for being gone. I really do. He's never here to take care of me or love me or tuck me in at night. Every time I ask him about mommy, he gets angry or sad. I don't understand why he acts the way he does, but I don't like it. I just hate him.

I hate him for leaving me with these droids instead of my mommy. He barely lets me out of the place I've been staying in. I have no friends and I don't know his friends.

"Master Kylar," Threepio called out as he waddled into my dorm. He said my daddy built him when he was around my age. "Your father has returned. He is awaiting you on the veranda."

I pouted for a minute, staring out the window at the snowy ground. "Fine," I muttered, spinning around on my seat. I leapt off of it and slowly walked out into the open room where my daddy stood.

He looked at me happily, or so I thought. He was never happy. Even after he took me, he wasn't happy. I knew he was forcing his smile and I hated him for that, too. "Hey, kiddo. How are you doing? I missed you."

He knelt down and I walked even slower before stopping altogether. I didn't want to hug daddy. This wasn't the first time he left me and I knew he'd only be here for a couple days. "Hi."

He looked hurt and he got up, coming closer to me. His robe dragged behind him and his boots were loud on the floor. He knelt in front of me and brushed my hair back with his droid hand. "I missed you, Ky. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I ripped myself away from him and crossed my arms over my chest. His eyes got bigger and he pulled back a bit. "When do you leave again?"

"Ky, I'm sorry. I really am. You know I'd stay if I could. I get a little more time with you now though." He looked like he wanted to say more, but he bit his lip and got quiet. I didn't like when daddy did that, but I didn't want to talk to him either.

"Why?"

"I got injured. I would've been back a few weeks ago. I was trying so hard to get out of there and I got… really hurt. I'm okay now."

My heart hurt a little when he said that. As much as I didn't like when he left me, he was still my daddy. I searched him quickly, looking for the place he'd gotten hurt. "Where?"

He tapped his chest lightly and I got sadder. "I'm okay, kiddo. Want to play?"

I shook my head and hugged him gently. I didn't like when daddy got hurt and I knew that happened to him a lot. He just didn't tell me about it. "I love you, daddy."

"I love you, too, Ky. I love you a lot." He rubbed my back with his real hand before picking me up and holding me close. He left me here a lot and I hated him for it, but I knew daddy tried to come back as quick as he could. "Ky, daddy has to talk to somebody on the com really quick. Can you go put some warmer clothes on and we can go outside for a little bit?"

I pulled back and looked at him, nodding slowly. "Yes, daddy." I was surprised he wanted to go outside with me. He never wanted me outside. He hugged me again before setting me down gently. I ran into my room and took my pajamas off and got into winter clothes. Whatever planet we were on was cold a lot. The snow covered the mountains a lot…

I was dressed quickly and I remembered my snow boots were in daddy's room. I turned the corner to go into his room and I heard him talking to someone. "Master, I need recovery time. I might… not have a lot of time."

"_Anakin, you need to come back to Coruscant. The droids are still running your tests. We need you back here._"

"I can't." Daddy looked hurt. His eyes were closed and I saw a tear run down his face.

"_Where do you keep running off to? Every single time we return from a mission, you're gone within days. I may need to install a tracking device inside of you just to keep track of you._"

"I'm sorry, Master."

"_Answer the question._"

I tried to walk in quietly because my boots were behind daddy. He wouldn't even see me. I walked in silently until I tripped over his pack. I hit the floor a little too loud. Daddy shut off his com quickly and hopped off his bed. I quickly got up and backed away, thinking he was mad. I was surprised when he grabbed my arms and asked me if I was okay. "Ky, talk to me. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, daddy."

He brushed my hair with his hand again and kissed my forehead. "I'm glad you're okay. Are you ready to go out for a bit? Did you eat yet?"

"I'm ready and yes." My stomach was full from earlier, but I still wanted to eat. "But I'm hungry."

He laughed and smiled. "Okay, kiddo."

Daddy helped me put my winter jacket on and helped me into my boots. He rubbed my cheek before placing a hat on my head. "Daddy, can I ask you something?" I'd been thinking a lot while he'd been gone and I wanted to know my mommy.

"Sure, Ky. What's on your mind?"

"When do I get to meet mommy?"

**POV: Anakin Skywalker**

My heart froze over when he asked when he would get to see his mother. My son's mother was long gone at this point. She'd died during the Clone War and… Padme had left me when she found out I'd spent time with another girl. I was twenty three when I found out I had a three year old. The Clone War had just ended and I found out from his temporary guardians that his mother was killed… I took him in because I owed him that much. He was my son and I wouldn't abandon him like my father had abandoned me. "Kylar…" His eyes lit up and I frowned. "Someday," I sighed, my throat hoarse. "I don't know where mommy is, but I know she misses you."

He smiled widely. "Really? Did you talk to her?"

"No," I whispered. "She and I haven't spoken in a while…" I trailed off, knowing that the last time I'd actually been around his mother was more than seven years ago… before she was pregnant. The last time I'd been with her was the night Kylar was conceived. Yes, it only took one try, but… I never expected to impregnate her. I didn't intend for it to be a one night stand either. It just… _happened _like that.

"I can't wait to have a mommy again."

"Kylar… your mommy won't be in our life again. She and I aren't on good terms…"

"What about a new mommy? Don't you want to get married?"

"Someday, maybe. I... have a girl waiting for me on Coruscant. I could _try _to get her to come here. You know, if you want..."

"Does she make you happy, daddy?" This boy was wonderful. He wanted me happy, but he didn't know that he made me happy. Ky is my son. I could never ask for a greater blessing than that which I've already been given.

I hugged him to my chest despite the slight pain. The bacta wasn't helping me much and the wound was too deep. If I were to die in the next few days, I'd spend them with Ky. "Yeah. She makes me really happy and so do you, kiddo." I shrugged the conversation off and rubbed his head. "Let's get out of here for a little while, okay?

He nodded happily and wandered over to my airspeeder. I followed him, not even bothering to change out of my Jedi attire. It would be warm enough for me and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with my son before the Council called me back…

**Later.**

"You... know that I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize us, but... I have a son. He..."

"_Anakin, I know about your son. I saw him in your dream the first time I slept beside you. Is he okay?_" She looked genuinely concerned even through the hologram and it made my heart skip a few beats.

"My son is fine," I whispered. "I would never ask for anything if it wasn't important. Baby, I have a huge favor to ask of you and I'm hoping that you'll do this for me."

"_You know I'd do anything for you. You're my Master and my… my sweet lover._"

I was touched that she felt that way about me and it meant a lot to have her say she'd do anything for me. I was surprised that she was this cool about me having a son with someone other than her. We always talked about starting a family together, but… I kept my having a son from her for quite some time. Hell, I didn't know throughout the entire Clone War and I still kept it from her upon its end. "Ahsoka, would it be too much to ask for you to come to me, to come to us?"

Her smile was beautiful and I could almost feel her excitement just by looking at this blue, see through version of her. "_I'd love to, Anakin. I miss you even though you've only left me for a few hours and I want to meet your son._"

"It would mean the galaxy to me to have you here with us. I know we can't stay long, but… I want to talk to you personally once you get here, okay?"

"_Of course, baby. I'll pack my things and com you when I'm there._"

"Please, for me, be safe, my love."

"_I will. I've only learned from the galaxy's best pilot, you know._" She smirked before blowing me a kiss quietly. I smiled and she ended the transmission. I leaned back on the soft couch and closed my eyes. My chest made me wince a little, but I'd be fine. The droids said there was a slight possibility that I wouldn't make a recovery; they even suggested that I wouldn't make it at all. If that were to happen, I'd need to make arrangements for Ky and there was only one person I could trust wholeheartedly with him.

I could feel Kylar coming before he even left his room. I opened my eyes and sat up a bit, glancing in his direction. "Daddy?"

"Yeah, kiddo?"

He slowly emerged from his room and came closer to me. "Can I sleep in bed with you?"

"Of course. Are you tired?"

He nodded, rubbing his eyes. I got up and bent over to pick him up. His legs dangled at my sides, his arms wound around my neck, and his face nuzzled into my neck. "When is she coming, daddy?"

"Who?"

I carried him into my bedroom and he latched onto me before I set him down. "Your girlfriend."

I smiled. "She'll be here in the morning and she's excited to meet you, Ky." I rubbed his back and kissed his head before he finally allowed me to lay him down. "I think you'll love her. She's really sweet and caring and…"

He stared at me as I trailed off. I didn't want him to think I was replacing his mother. I wanted him to like Ahsoka and get attached to her. If he resented me for loving her… "I can't wait to meet her, daddy."

I messed with his hair, laughing quietly. "I can't wait for you two to meet. You're both extremely important to me…"

He moved up the bed and got under the blanket. I took my boots off and set them beside the bed. Just as I was about to crawl in beside him, he shot straight up. "Daddy, can you get my Wookiee?"

"You still have that thing?" It was a plush toy I'd gotten for him once he'd started living with me. I thought he'd like it, but I didn't think he'd like it this much. He nodded and pointed towards his bedroom across the hall. I walked into his room, picked it up from his bed, and went back into my own room. When I handed it to him, he was overjoyed. I smiled and got into bed with him. He cuddled up to me and held my hand. It kind of reminded me of how Ahsoka and I slept beside each other whenever we were given the opportunity.

"I love you, daddy," he whispered, his eyes already closed.

I smiled, not being able to help the fact that I was staring at him. When I got here today, I felt like he hated me. Now that he said otherwise, I felt so much better. "I love you, baby boy. I always will."


	2. Chapter 2

**POV: Anakin Skywalker**

I woke up before Kylar as I normally did when I was here. I slid out from under him and made my way to the kitchen. I was hungry as hell and I could only bet that he was, too. By the time he woke up, Ahsoka would more than likely be here, so I should cook for the three of us.

I glanced at the time and was thrilled that Ahsoka could show up at any given time. She'd more than likely be here within the hour and that made me happy beyond words. I missed her in ways that I couldn't describe. The beauty of her eyes, of her smile… they captivated me and I needed that captivation. I needed her presence.

I sat at the small bar in the kitchen and rested my head on my arms, sighing heavily. Ahsoka and I have been together for two years as a couple, but we've known each other for seven years. I've never touched her in ways that she didn't like and I've never done things to her that would make her uncomfortable. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone and I wanted to treat her the way she deserved, the way that made her love me as much as I loved her. She told me how her montrals and lekku gave her sexual feelings and I was careful about how I touched her there.

I didn't like giving out the wrong impression and she was the one I didn't want to leave a bad impression on. I stroked her montrals or lekku when I wanted to comfort her or while I kissed her and she never complained. I didn't want her to think I was in it all for sex because I certainly wasn't. I wanted her for her and all I wanted from her was her love.

Ahsoka was an amazing life form and I wanted to treat her as such. She treated me with respect and I owed her the same. She's touched me in ways that I never thought she'd do for her age, but she did it because she didn't want to lose me. Once I assured her that I wasn't going anywhere, things got calmer and easier between us.

I lifted my head up and pulled my holocom out of my pack that was sitting on the bar. I switched it on and selected the beautiful holo I had of Ahsoka in her sleep. The peace in her smile warmed my heart and made me think about her more than I was just moments earlier.

I smiled at her holo, at least until my chest had a burst of pain. I cringed and growled under my breath, clutching my chest. I held onto the bar counter with my free hand and shut my eyes tightly. Unfortunately for me, the holo crashed to the floor. Luckily, I knew it wasn't broken. It just… shut off. I began to breathe heavily as the pain shot further down my body.

I slid out of the bar seat and fell to the floor, gasping for breath. I was trying to be quiet, hoping not to wake Ky. The last thing I wanted him to see was his father coming closer and closer to death. I laid my head on the floor and clenched my teeth as the pain worsened.

The pain reached down to my stomach and up to my collarbone before it finally stopped. I sighed in relief. I couldn't wait for this pain to stop, but I also knew that when it did, nothing would be the same. "Daddy?" Ky's small voice called out from the bedroom. I pushed myself up, holding tightly onto the barstool. I forced myself to walk back into the bedroom and I saw my son with tears streaking his face.

"What's wrong, Ky?" I asked, panicking. I forced myself to quickly cross the room and take a seat beside him. My heart was pounding, but he was more important to me than my own pain. I brushed his dirty blonde hair back and stared at his face, concerned.

"I had a bad dream." He was breathing heavily and sweating quite profusely. He threw himself at me and closed his eyes against my chest. I rubbed his back and rested my chin on the crown of his head. I felt his fear and I wondered what had really happened, so I asked him to talk to me and he did. "You got hurt, daddy. I saw you protecting me and some lady came out of nowhere and… and…"

He didn't need to finish because I could see the image in his head. The fact that he was my son allowed me to see into his mind if he was to let me and he didn't realize that he was letting me. Maybe, just maybe, he _wanted _me to see what he'd seen. He saw Ventress killing me by shoving her blades through my chest. The thing was, I was much more powerful than Ventress could ever imagine and we hadn't seen nor heard much of her since the end of the Clone War.

"Nothing's going to happen to me, Ky. It was just a dream. Don't you worry, okay? Daddy's going to be just fine. I'm right here with you and I'm not going anywhere." He nodded and pulled back to rub his eyes. "Do you want to go back to bed, kiddo? I can make you some breakfast if you'd like."

"Don't leave me, daddy," he pleaded, staring at me. I nodded and laid down on the pillows as he curled up against me. He was shaking terribly and I hated when he was scared. The worst moment of his life had been when he'd first met me. He was just planted on my doorstep, or rather Padme's doorstep, out of the blue and information was then handed out about him being my biological son. Padme loathed me with every part of her being and I couldn't blame her. She didn't respect me after learning that I'd spent the night with another woman, but she lost every ounce of anything she felt for me once she saw my three year old son. That resulted in my being kicked out forever as well as receiving threats that she'd go to the Council about me.

Kylar snuggled up to me and held my hand between us similar to how Ahsoka and I slept beside each other. It was kind of cute, in an odd way. He eventually relaxed and fell asleep, thank the Force. Moments after I made sure he was sleeping peacefully, my com began to beep. My heart leapt out of my chest excitedly and I moved to the best of my ability to quickly get to the com.

I tapped the button and leaned against the counter as my sweet Ahsoka's voice spoke. "_Hi, sweetheart. I'm on Alderaan. I just wanted to let you know that I got here safely._"

"I'm glad you're safe, my love. Do you want me to come get you? Ky is sleeping and Threepio is around to make sure nothing happens to him. Plus, I'm looking forward to seeing you again…"

She laughed lightly. "_As long as Kylar is safe on his own, you can. Your son comes first. I'll be looking for a taxi if I need to._"

I grabbed my com and peeked into the bedroom. "He'll be fine without me for a few minutes and Threepio and Artoo are here. I'm on my way over to you."

I hopped into my airspeeder and flew down to the landing port. As I docked, I skimmed through the crowd. There were many alien species here and yet I couldn't seem to find the only one that would stand out in comparison. I scanned quickly until I saw her beautiful, brilliant face gleaming at me from the distance. My heart stopped and my jaw dropped. She was wearing her robe over her outfit and I assumed she'd left without acknowledging the rest of the Jedi.

She came closer and I hopped over the side of the speeder before breaking into a run towards her. As much as it hurt my chest to do so, I didn't care. As soon as I reached her, her arms flew out and I wrapped mine around her waist and lifted her in the air, spinning her happily. She laughed, her hands on my shoulders, a bright smile on her face. After a few spins, I set her down and kissed her lips lovingly. "Ani."

"My Soka," I whispered, holding the sides of her face in my hands, rubbing her skin gently with my gloved thumbs. "I've missed you… so much."

"I've been waiting on Coruscant for you," she breathed. "Ani, are you okay? I heard you were injured. They wouldn't let me visit you and then I heard from Obi-Wan that you'd left without breathing a word to anyone about it. I was afraid something happened to you…"

"I'm all right, Ahsoka. I didn't know you knew about Kylar or I would've asked you to come along with me." She rubbed my shoulders and stared at my face. She didn't know where I'd gotten injured and I knew she'd find out one way or another.

"Well, I'm here now, Ani." I took her hand and intertwined our fingers. She smiled up at me and I led her back to the airspeeder, helping her into it. I got in beside her and stared at her for a few moments, wishing I could use something more than just words to show her I appreciated her coming here with me to meet a son that didn't even belong to her.

"Thank you for coming here, Soka. It means a lot to me. My son… _You _and my son mean everything to me. To have you both finally meet would be…"

She smiled, rubbing my leg. "Anakin, you mean everything to me. I want to get to know your son if we're going to be together."

I sighed. "He's not your son though."

"Anakin, he may not be my biological son, but I want us to be family." My lips parted as I let the shock sink in. I knew Ahsoka loved me, but I never would've imagined that she'd be willing to join me and my son like this.

We made it to my secret home and I took her hand, helping her out of the airspeeder. She intertwined our fingers as I led her into the living room, the central room of the home. She gazed around in awe and I smiled at her. "Welcome home, my love," I whispered, watching her face as she took in the scenery before looking back at me.

"Ani, this is beautiful. This… I've dreamed about having a home like this."

I kissed her cheek, closing my eyes and my lips lingered on her warm, delicate skin. I rested my forehead against the side of her face and breathed against her. "It's y_our _home, my Soka."

I opened my eyes and she smiled widely at me, thrilled that I'd taken her in like this. Unfortunately, she didn't know how serious I was about this place being her home. In a few weeks, I'd more than likely be in my grave. My heart was damaged and there wasn't much that could be done for me. I hoped Ahsoka and Ky would get along because he'd need her to take care of him until he was able to care for himself.

I slowly led her towards my bedroom where my son laid on the bed and she smiled in silent awe at my little boy. She leaned against me, rubbing my chest gently. "Anakin, he's beautiful. He looks just like you."

I kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you came, Ahsoka. I've wanted you two to meet for a while now. He's the only other person I love aside from you."

I led her back to the couch in the living room and sat down on it, pulling her into my lap. Her legs slid over mine and she nuzzled her face into my neck, wrapping her arms around me. "I'm going to love him just as much as I love you, Anakin."

That warmed my heart. Even with having a few weeks tops to live, I knew I could trust her with my son. I knew she would love my son. I knew my son would love her. In fact, Ahsoka was almost exactly like his own mother… Ahsoka reminded me of her a little, but Ahsoka was special in her own way and I wanted to show her that before I died.


	3. Chapter 3

**POV: Ahsoka Tano**

Anakin, Kylar, and I sat down at the dinner table in the middle of a huge hall. I knew Anakin loved to own grand objects, but I never imagined him settling down in a place like this. Kylar was gobbling all of his dinner and Anakin had barely touched his dinner since we sat down. I'd eaten some of it, but I was worried about him. I caught him zoning out too many times for my liking and that wasn't like him. Something was clearly bothering him and I wanted to know what was wrong.

Kylar looked up from his plate and stared at his father. "Daddy?" Anakin snapped to attention, slamming his elbow on the table painfully.

"What's up, Ky?" he asked, his voice shaking as he tried to compose himself. I stared at him. I could see that he was hurting and I knew he was trying to hide it from me. Well, at least I'd have him alone tonight so we could finally talk about whatever had happened to him recently.

"Are you okay, daddy?" I watched Anakin and he smiled weakly. I watched him get up and walk over to his son, leaning over to kiss his hair gently. I loved the way he treated his son, but I wouldn't let him get away with hiding his pain. I loved this man more than he knew and I wanted him to talk to me.

"I'm just tired, Ky baby. Don't worry about me, okay?" Kylar smiled up at him and I saw how innocent he was. He didn't know how much his father was suffering and that hurt. Anakin glanced at the time across the room and chuckled. "Finish your dinner, baby. It's almost time for bed. Do you want me to read you a story tonight?"

"No. It's okay, daddy." Kylar rubbed his eyes with one arm and pushed his food forward on the table. "I'm tired."

Anakin smiled and knelt down in front of him. I saw him cringe and quickly shift his expression so that he was _normal._ My eyes widened as Kylar hopped into his arms and Anakin stood up to carry his son. Something was _really _wrong with him. Anakin took Kylar into his bedroom and I got up to clean up the table. I stared at Anakin's plate and saw how he shifted his food around to make it look like he'd eaten. _Oh, that man_. He was _definitely _in for it as soon as he came back.

I dumped the food on each plate into the waste bin before cleaning them in the sink and placing them in a neat pile on the countertop. It had been a few minutes and he still hadn't come out of Kylar's room, so I decided to wait for him in his bedroom. He wouldn't be able to avoid me in there if he wanted to get some sleep tonight.

I hopped onto his bed, loving the feeling of his satin sheets. I crossed my legs and stared at the doorway, waiting for him. I rubbed my leggings and sighed. He finally came into the bedroom and I stared at him. He paused and his eyebrows cocked. "What's wrong?"

"Come here," I whispered, patting the sheets next to me.

He stared at me. "Ahsoka, _no. _Now is _not _the time for _that._"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, throwing myself onto my back. I closed my eyes and threw my arms out. "I'm not asking you to have sex with me. I just want you to sit with me."

"Oh." He said it so quietly that I almost thought he hadn't said anything. He came over to me and laid beside me. I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at him. His sad eyes stared into mine and I rolled over to kiss his lips. "Did you want to talk about something?" he whispered when I pulled back. I pushed myself up and he sat up as well.

"I want you to talk to me."

"About what, my love?"

"What happened to you before you came back to Coruscant?" I decided to just hit him directly instead of beating around the bush. I wanted to know what had happened to him during his mission. I hadn't been there with him and I was worried sick about him, especially upon finding out that he was in the medbay. His eyes shifted away from me and I got onto my knees, leaning to grab his face. "Talk to me. Please."

"I got hurt," he muttered.

"Yeah. I know." I groaned. "How bad was it? _Where _was it?" He looked at me sadly before getting off of the bed. I was about to get angry at him, but he removed his shirt and I silenced myself. I saw the many scars he'd acquired through serving in the war and I also knew that there was something much more severe troubling him. He sighed, his muscles tensing. "Let me see," I whispered. I stared at him sadly, knowing he didn't want me to know about whatever it was.

He threw his shirt down and turned to face me. I gasped and I knew that was a reaction he didn't want. "I know," he growled, turning away.

I got up off of the bed and grabbed his right shoulder. "Anakin," I whispered, pleading with him. He slowly turned back to me again and I saw the frown burning into my soul. I stared at his chest. Just above where his heart was… He was burned horribly. "How much pain are you in?"

He lifted his hand to caress the left side of my face. "I'm in excruciating pain," he whispered. "But it doesn't happen all the time. I have… _episodes._"

"How did it happen, Anakin?" It pained me to know that he was in more pain than I'd imagined. His thumb rubbed against my skin and I stared into his eyes.

"I went into the refugee base to rescue the women and children that had been left behind," he whispered. "I searched all over for them. I swore I saw a child and I was determined to find them. I _had _to find them." His eyes became distant and I took the hand that wasn't near my face in my own hands. "I found him. He was so _scared._" He glanced over his shoulder and I knew he was thinking about his own baby in the other room. "I saw Kylar's face in the place of his own and I knew I had to get him out of there alive…"

He was starting to shake and I gently led him over to the bed. I wanted him to relax before he collapsed and I figured him resting on the bed was in his best interest. He willingly followed me and sat up by the pillows with his legs stretching the length of the mattress. "Talk, lover." I curled up beside him and stared at his face. I rubbed his abdomen slowly and he stared at me as though he were tired.

"His mother was searching for him. I picked him up as explosions started going off. I was afraid of him being hurt and I _ran._ I got him out and reunited him with his mother. I… went back to make sure no one else was in there. As I was about to run back out, the last explosion hit me and the building was already burning." I felt his pain as he relived the pain he felt in that moment. "I was paralyzed and the flames kept coming. My spine was shattered and I was numb. I was bleeding profusely and… the heat…"

He latched onto me. This was a side of him that I had never seen before. I'd seen him when he was in battle, when he was injured, and when he had lost so many lives… He must've gone through a lot of trauma after this last incident. I couldn't blame him because I knew exactly how it felt. Well, not his pain, but I knew how men came out of the war… Most were never going to be themselves again. I stroked his hair and held him against me. "You're okay, Ani. I've got you. Soka's got you," I whispered against his head.

He closed his eyes and I stared at him, concerned. I couldn't understand how the hell he'd managed to survive being paralyzed, having his spine shattered, and having his chest burned so severely. I was thankful beyond words that he was alive, but I hated that he was suffering like this. He breathed slowly for so long before finally relaxing enough to talk to me in his normal voice. "I'm sorry, Ahsoka."

"Anakin, I'm here for you. You know that," I whispered. "You should always be able to talk to me, my love. I don't care what it's about. I'm _always _going to be at your side. I _love _you."

He glanced up at me and I saw him smile and it warmed my heart. He sat up a little and sighed. "There's something important I need to tell you," he whispered. I knew this was going to be bad. The way he stared off was disturbing. He wouldn't look at me anymore and I knew something horrible was about to escape those beautiful lips of his… "I'm… Ahsoka, I'm dying," he said, lowering his head and closing his eyes.

I could _not _register any of that. There was no way he could possibly be dying. He'd survived everything so far. How could he die now? "Why?" was the only thing I could manage to say. I was in so much shock right now. The man I loved more than anything just told me he was dying. He was going to be leaving me, leaving his… My eyes widened. "That's why you wanted me to meet Kylar."

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly before bursting into tears. "I'm so damn sorry."

I lurched towards him and pulled him against me, attempting to soothe him even though I was finally coming to tears myself. With every little bit that broke inside of him, I began to fall to pieces. "How long do you have?" I said through my tears. I could _not _imagine my life without him. He'd survived so many things that had happened to him. This _one _thing couldn't take him from me.

"A few weeks," he said, his nose scrunching up with each sniffle. "I cut off the life support once I woke up. I couldn't stay there and die in that medical bed. I wanted to be with my son. I wanted to see him so bad…"

He wrapped his arms around me and I kissed his jaw. "Anakin, I understand. I really do…"

We just sat there and held each other a little while longer, talking about the little details he didn't tell me before he left Coruscant. He told me every last thing the droid said to him. His heart was failing. There was nothing that could be done for him. Every little episode he would have would bring him one step closer to his final breaths. "I have… I have one dying request," he said, his eyes pleading with me as they fixed on me. I gave him my attention because I knew he needed me to do this. I knew it was for Kylar before he even said anything. He wouldn't leave his son alone. "Can you, _please_, take Kylar in? I trust you more than anyone. I don't want him to grow up like a Jedi. I want him to be a normal boy and live a normal, happy, healthy life. I want him to grow up and live the life I wanted when I was his age. Please, for me…"

I nodded, not being able to bring myself to say the words he so desperately wanted to hear me say. I swallowed back my sadness and finally spoke to him. "I'll treat him as my own. I'll love him as my own. For all intents and purposes, Kylar will be my son. I promise you I will take care of him, Anakin."

He held my hands in both of his and smiled as a few more tears dripped down his face. "I can die peacefully knowing he'll be taken care of. Under your guidance, he's in good hands, Ahsoka."

I smiled at him and he leaned forward to kiss me slowly. I wanted every moment with him to move in slow motion. I wanted every last moment with him to last for a lifetime. I didn't want this love to end. I didn't want _him _to end. I loved Anakin more than I've ever told him and now I barely had any time left to show him that.


	4. Chapter 4

**POV: Ahsoka Tano**

The night had gotten a bit better once Anakin revealed everything that was going on with him. I was relieved that he told me, but I was also in pain. For him, I had to shield that pain. I couldn't let him see how much this was hurting me. I loved him so much more than I could ever tell him and there was barely any time left with him to show him that love.

He was snoring heavily beside me and I couldn't help but stare at his bare back. I pushed myself up and stared at him sadly. He was so peaceful while asleep. He always looked like this while he slept and I wished that his reality was just as peaceful, but there was almost always something torturing him and picking at his nerves. I loved when he would lay on his back. I liked to watch him sleep at night. He was calm and relaxed instead of hurting and upset.

Tonight, he laid on his side, facing away from me. I scooted closer to him and rested my chin on his arm and stared at his face. His eyes tightened and his features scrunched up a bit and he began to mutter things I couldn't understand. I sat up a little and watched him, resting my hand on his hip. He gasped and his eyes sprang open. He flipped and lurched like he was in a tremendous amount of pain. I held him as he clutched his chest and cried out quietly in pain. "Anakin, talk to me," I whispered. I knew he didn't want Kylar to know of his condition, so I would just go along with it for now. He would have to tell his son at some point…

"Can't – breathe," he gasped. I held him against me and tried to soothe his pain. I wasn't a healer, but I'd managed to stop pain sometimes. His breath was very labored and he closed his eyes, attempting to calm down. My hand lit up to a faint blue above his chest and he began to relax. The pain began to fade and I stared at his face. He opened his eyes to stare up at me, frowning. "I-I'm sorry…"

I brushed his hair back and kissed his forehead. "Sweetheart, don't be sorry. You've no reason to apologize. I'm here to keep you safe. I want to help you…"

He must've realized how much I was hurting because of this. He lifted a hand to wipe my tears away and he sighed. "There's only a few weeks left of this and you won't have to be miserable anymore."

I stared at him, not knowing how to react. The fact that he assumed I could move on from him after all of this… I couldn't believe him. I smacked his hand harshly away from me and crawled out of bed quickly, attempting to walk out before he could stop me. Of course, as usual, he was too fast. He was able to get up and hug me before I could even make it around the bedside. "I _hate _when you say things like that. It hurts me, Ani."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, breathing against my montrals. "I didn't mean to upset you, my love. I'm just… I'm really morbid about things lately. I'm going to die. It's inevitable. I just regret not being able to spend more time with you and Ky."

Before I knew it, I'd subconsciously dragged him back to bed with me. I was on my back and he hovered above me. I loved when his bangs hung over his face like this. He looked adorable. He leaned closer and kissed my neck gently, moving to my jaw and cheek before reaching my lips. I ran my fingers through his hair and smiled. I wanted him to do more, but I knew he'd immediately refuse. He loved me and didn't want to ruin any part of me in case I changed my mind about him, which wasn't possible. I rubbed his chest gently, being very careful of where I rubbed. I didn't want to cause him more pain than he already felt.

I knew that I had a certain affect on him and I wanted to play. I wanted to see if he'd catch on and I wanted to see how he'd react. I lifted my lower half and rubbed his and he instantly froze. His lips hovered above mine and he pulled back, staring at me sadly. I sat up to get closer to him and he got even more upset. "Anakin, please."

"I can't."

"I'm asking you to." I didn't want to force him to do anything, but I did want him to do something. I didn't really want him to be abstinent anymore. I knew he'd had sex before. It's not like he could hide that from me. His little boy was across the hall. "You've done it before. Why can't you –"

"Because I want _your _first time to be everything you want. What if I'm not the one? What if I'm not the guy you're supposed to be with? I'm dying. Do you really want a dying man to take your virginity?"

"What if you _don't _die?"

"Those chances are slim." He was getting darker with each passing moment. He didn't want me to push him, but I also couldn't let him just waste away like this. He craved it and I knew it. I'd been up in the middle of the night and heard him in the shower or in the other room. "I'm not going to ruin you."

"Anakin, can we –"

"Why do you want sex so bad from me?" he asked angrily. I winced at the amount of anger he felt right now and I gave up. I decided it wasn't worth bothering him. I moved his arm and his face softened and he realized how he'd just sounded. I slid his arm away and rolled over to face away from him. I wasn't giving him the cold shoulder. I was just laying here and I didn't want to upset him anymore. He came closer and kissed my neck again. "I didn't mean to talk to you like that…"

"I know."

"Why do you want this so badly?" he whispered. I turned over to lie on my back again and he compensated for my movement, laying beside me, his arm draped over my stomach.

"Because I love you."

He gave me his hesitant look and I could see that he wanted to do more. He always had. He was just afraid to admit that and too much of a good man to do anything about it. "I don't want to hurt you. You've never done it before and you'll hurt…"

"I want you," I whispered. "And I want you to be the one to break me."

"I… I won't be rough with you. I promise. If you want me to stop at any point, I _want _you to tell me." I smiled at him, finally happy to see him breaking his tough wall. He's still human and he still has needs. He hovered over me, kissing my neck gently, nibbling slightly on the skin. He slid his mechanical hand down my body slowly, reaching where he wanted to take his hand.

He started rubbing me gently and my body warmed up. His warm lips were on my skin and his hand warmed my insides. He moved his hand up to the hem of my pants and was about to slide his hand down into them before we both heard little footsteps coming towards us. We both immediately reacted and he laid on his back, closing his eyes. I watched him and I could sense his frustration.

Kylar came into the room, rubbing his little eyes. "Daddy?" he said, his voice whining. I knew something was wrong and so did Anakin. He sat up and glanced at his son, checking him over briefly.

"What's up, little one?" Kylar came closer to Anakin and Ani threw his legs over the side of the bed, holding his arms out. Kylar ran into his arms and Anakin held him tightly. "Daddy's here. Did you have a bad dream?" he whispered. He kissed Kylar's hair and rested his cheek on the top of his son's head.

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk about it, baby?"

Kylar nodded and Anakin straightened up, pulling Kylar up onto the bed with us. He crawled past Anakin and laid between the two of us. Evidently, this was just a normal thing for Anakin. I liked that about him. He interacted with his son in ways that showed he loved his baby. Anakin pulled his legs up and sat cross-legged, staring intently and concernedly at his son. "Daddy, you got hurt. I saw fire and a big building." He stared at Anakin's chest and I saw how tense my lover became.

"I'm sure it's –"

"Are you dying, daddy?"

Anakin pursed his lips, his eyes starting to tear up. This was something he didn't want to deal with. He didn't want to tell his son that he was dying. He couldn't bear it and I understood that. "_No_," he said, lying. Ky must've seen right through it because the little guy started bawling moments later. Anakin's eyes widened and he pulled Kylar into his arms. "Daddy's going to be just fine. It was just a nightmare, kiddo."

He kept Ky's head against his chest as he himself began to cry. It hurt to watch him like this. He loved his son so much and he knew that his son might lose out on him. Anakin is a good father and I can see that in the way he looked at his son. His mouth hung open as he cried and I didn't know what to do to comfort him. I could only imagine how much he was hurting inside. Kylar isn't my son by blood, but I could imagine how difficult it would be if I were in Anakin's position. I wouldn't be able to tell Kylar that I was dying. Anakin closed his eyes and the tears forced themselves to slide down his cheeks. When he opened them again, he was staring at me with the saddest look I've ever seen.

I saw hurt and anger and gratitude in his eyes. I knew the hurt was for the fact that he had so much time to be with his son and the anger was for that as well as the fact that he was dying. The gratitude, I imagined, was meant for me. He knew I would take care of Kylar. I would do _everything _I could to take care of his little boy. He wrapped one arm around Kylar and looked at me, begging me to come closer with his eyes as well as the extension of his arm. I moved across the bed and leaned into him. He held my shoulder and I closed my eyes as his chest heaved over and over.

It was a little while before things settled down. Anakin was able to rock Kylar to sleep. It was cute how he held his son. Once Kylar was sleeping, he was laid onto the pillow between where Anakin and I would sleep. He gave me a silent look and slid down to the end of the bed. I moved with him and watched his face. He was trying to keep himself under control and I knew he was going to break far worse than he had when Kylar came in. "Can you please come with me?" he begged, turning to face me with even more tears in his eyes.

I nodded and he grabbed my hand, standing up and pulling me with him. He led me out to the balcony and held me tightly, sobbing. I kept my face pressed against his chest, the part that wasn't hurting him. He sobbed and cursed loudly, wishing that he could have more time to be with us. I held him and let him cry. He _needed _it. He couldn't keep up an act. He couldn't pretend that everything was okay, that he wasn't near death. He had to let go and I was always the one he went to when he was breaking down.

I loved him so much and I wished I could find a way to save him…


	5. Chapter 5

**POV: Ahsoka Tano**

A few weeks went by. The Council was trying their hardest to find Anakin. They kept calling me because he wouldn't answer and I would repeatedly lie to them and tell them that I had no idea where he'd run off to. It didn't make it any better that Anakin's life was deteriorating so much faster. He couldn't even get himself out of bed anymore. He laid there, miserable, all day long. Ky went in and read stories to him and it killed me because he thought Anakin was just _sick._

I sat in the living room and listened as Kylar read Ani some fairytale. I heard Anakin chuckle, followed by a long string of coughs and choking. It always scared me because I didn't know when my last moment with him would be. I hated that he was suffering. I'd tried to find someone who could help me, but there just wasn't anything I could do. No medic or droid had the solution to cure Anakin of his deathly injury.

He could barely move, barely eat, barely talk… He was becoming less and less functional with each passing day. He suddenly got very quiet as Kylar continued reading. I got up and peeked into the room. Anakin's head was laid back, his eyes closed, his mouth ajar. "Anakin!" I screamed, bursting in, scaring the hell out of Ky. Ky flew off of the bed, holding his book to his chest. I straddled Anakin and he didn't move. "Anakin!" I continued to scream his name. I finally moved him and began to pump his chest quickly, breathing for him when I was supposed to.

Much to my dismay, Ky didn't leave the room. It took less than two minutes for me to bring him back and he gasped as I blew a final breath into him. I pulled back, knowing full well that I was crying. He stared up at me, frightened. I laid on him and cried into his chest. I felt his hands rest on my bare back lightly and his thumb slid across my skin slowly. "I-I'm sorry," he whispered.

Ky came over to me and put his little hand on my leg. I pushed myself off of Ani and went to hold his son. Ky cried into my chest and I rubbed his back, running my fingers through his hair. "Soka," Kylar whispered. "Is daddy going to be okay?"

I cried harder and Anakin forced himself to sit up. He moved closer to us and kissed my neck before kissing Ky's forehead. "Daddy is fine, baby." I hated him for lying to his son when it was obvious that he _wasn't _okay nor would he _be _okay. "Ky, can you go get ready for a bath?" He nodded and left the two of us alone. I wanted to smack Anakin for brushing his son off like this. He looked at me so innocently that all my negativity just… washed away. "I know you're angry with me. Just, please, trust me. I don't want to hurt him. I can't watch him hurt."

I got back onto the bed and moved towards him. He held me against him and I closed my eyes, listening to his faint heartbeat. "I love you, Ani," I whispered, crying again. He squeezed me and leaned his head against my montrals. I felt his tears drip onto me. We both knew things would be over soon. He would expect me to take care of his baby and move onto some other man. I _would_ take care of his baby, but I would _never _be able to move on from him. I loved him too much to just start loving another man that way. He rocked me gently and whispered so many things to me. He wanted me to know how grateful he was for me, how much he loved me, how badly he wished we had more time. Above all of that, he wanted me to know that he'd be watching over me and waiting for me when my time came, too.

I sobbed harder against him. I didn't want to think about life without him. He'd been my Master during the Clone War and now he'd become my lover. We'd bonded so close over the last few years. Losing him… Let's just say he'll take a core part of me with him the day he dies. "Please, don't leave me today," I pleaded. I slid one hand down the side of my face, stopping to caress my cheek. "Please, Ani."

"I'm not in control of this, but I'll fight, Ahsoka. I promise. I…" He stopped and I knew he was going to say something that would depress me even more, so he held back. He squeezed again and moved his head against mine. "I love you so much, my Snips. I always will. I will love you even as you get married to another man one day. You are forever my love. I want you to make sure you and Kylar are taken care of by the right –"

"Anakin, accept the fact that I will _not _fall in love with anyone after you die," I snapped. He winced and nodded. "I love _you._ Your death won't change that. I'm intensely in love with you. I love you and I love your son. He's part of you and I'm taking him into my custody. He'll be my little reminder of you, my piece of you."

He smiled and tears slid down his face. "Baby, I love _you._"

We held onto each other a few moments longer before Ky called out from the refresher. "_Daddy!_" He whined, waiting for his daddy to go and give him a bath. I knew Anakin would be stubborn and get out of bed even though he knew he shouldn't. He made movements towards the edge of the bed and I helped him stand. He latched onto me, breathing heavily, growing weary with each breath he took.

He draped his arm over my shoulder and practically limped as I walked him into the refresher where his naked son was waiting for him. I smiled at Ky as his face turned bright red. I helped Anakin over to the bathtub and he started the water once I knelt down to help him sit on the floor. He watched Ky jump in and sit down. I sat on the toilet and watched _him._ He didn't know when he was going to die and he wished that it wouldn't be in front of Kylar when it happened.

He slipped his human hand into the water, testing it before adjusting it so his son wouldn't freeze or burn. He rested his arms on the edge of the tub and laid his head on them, watching his son play with a few toys he'd brought into the bath. I saw the dreamy look in his eyes and he was truly happy. I didn't know his history or how Kylar had been born, but he loved his son nonetheless. Whatever happened didn't even matter to him. He always snuck out to see his baby. He smiled and reached his mechno over the side, rubbing Ky's cheek. Ky looked at Anakin, giving him a questioning look. "Kylar Anakin Skywalker," Anakin whispered, getting his son's attention. "I love you so much. Don't you ever forget how much your daddy loves you."

"Don't you forget how much I love my daddy." I saw tears welling up in Anakin's eyes and I couldn't help but smile at him. He rubbed his thumb over Kylar's cheek before straightening up and kissing his wet forehead.

"I'll never forget, baby," he whispered. "You're my little world." Kylar's eyes lit up and I could see Ani wanting to break down. His son loved him as much as Anakin loved his baby.

"You're my big world, daddy. You're invincible. You're my hero." I saw Anakin's face distort as he started crying pretty hard. I wanted to get up to go to him, but I sensed that he needed this moment with his son and I didn't want to ruin it.

Anakin leaned over the bathtub and pulled his wet son against him, hugging him and kissing his hair over and over. Kylar looked at me, concerned, and all I could do was smile weakly at him. Anakin wanted him in the dark and I wouldn't do anything to upset him. Kylar would be my responsibility soon. I had to take care of him, physically and emotionally. Anakin pulled back and Ky stared at him, wide eyed. Anakin laughed and wiped his eyes, his chest soaking wet. "That made me happy, baby."

He helped Kylar finish up in the bath before drying and dressing him. To my surprise, Anakin picked Kylar up and carried him to his messy bedroom. Ky's face was buried into Ani's neck and I knew he was getting sleepy. He kept his arms wrapped around his daddy's neck and Anakin held his legs around his waist.

I watched him flick his fingers and the cover flew back. He gently set his son down on the bed, kneeling beside it, brushing his hair back slowly. I saw his mouth moving and I felt his internal pain. He leaned over and kissed Kylar's forehead, pulling the blanket up and tucking him in. He pushed himself up and I heard him groan in pain. I nearly ran in, but he straightened up and turned to face me.

He came out into the living room and I couldn't move. His eyes glued my feet to the floor. He stood close to me, his hands stroking my cheeks. I saw him staring at my lips before he looked into my eyes. I gripped his hips and watched his eyes. I could see him searching for something and I wanted to know what that something was. "Will you make love to me?" he whispered. His face was red and I giggled. His eyes didn't meet mine again until I kissed him.

"I would love to. Are you going to be okay if we do?"

He nodded. "I was able to give him a bath and carry him to bed. I think I'll be okay with you. He rubbed my skin and kissed my nose. I was eager for him to love me. He'd tried to weeks ago and it just hadn't happened since then. He took my hand and slowly led me to his bed. He held me and kissed me a little longer before slowly removing my clothes, followed by his own. This was actually the first time we'd seen each other naked and we'd been together for a while now.

I crawled onto the bed and laid on my back. He crawled on top of me and played around to get me ready. Everything he did to me felt wonderful, and then he finally put himself into me. He was right. It was painful. That didn't mean I didn't enjoy it though. He was so slow and so gentle. He knew how to make love to a woman in such a way that she'd orgasm before he even got himself going, which is exactly what I did…

The way he moved, the way he kissed me, the way he ran his hand along my skin felt so amazing to me and I was lucky that he'd been my first. I knew I wasn't _his _first, but I'm glad he was _mine._ He was so loving and he kept checking to make sure everything was okay. I don't know how long we kept going, but eventually he let himself go and I was warmed up even more inside. He pulled out and rolled over to my side and I smiled at him, breathing heavily in unison with him. He grabbed my hand and kissed it gently, lifting his eyes to look at me. I didn't feel like moving just yet. I wanted to lie here and stay as warm as I felt right now. He held my hand between us and all we could do was smile at one another and whisper three words that meant the galaxy to us when coming from one another.


	6. Chapter 6

POV: Anakin Skywalker

I felt myself growing colder and colder as the days went by. I was always freezing and bundled up in nearly a thousand quilts Ahsoka bought for me. She would sweat every single time she looked at me and I understood that. Most nights, she slept above all over the covers but one. She was way too hot with me and she actually didn't like that she couldn't cuddle easier since we had so many barriers between us. Ky joined us in bed sometimes, too, which made her even hotter.

I'd wake up in the middle of the night and she'd be standing by the window with it open just enough to allow the wind to caress her skin and cool her off. This was one of those nights. I woke up from a nightmare that wasn't _too _bad, but still frightened me. Kylar was in it and I panicked, glancing at his sleeping form beside me. I breathed a sigh of relief when I rested my hand on his tiny, breathing body. "Soka?" I whispered, lifting my eyes to look at her silhouetted form by the window.

She jumped and turned to face me. She came closer and got onto the bed. "Yes, lover?"

I pushed myself up, groaning. I shook, extremely cold. "I had a bad dream," I whispered, embarrassed. I felt my face getting hot as the silence _briefly _loomed over us. She crawled over to me and kissed my stomach.

"Talk to me," she whispered. I sat up and spread my legs, pulling her closer. I pulled her legs over mine, letting them run to the head of the bed. I wanted her right here, so that's what I made her do. I realized that I'd gotten a little more aggressive with her since we made love for the first time and I didn't really catch myself doing so until it was already too late. I didn't understand why she hadn't told me to calm down yet.

I bruised her leg when I gripped her too hard a few days ago to pull her onto me. She seemed to like it, but I knew her bruise bothered her. She frequently hit it, too. I sighed and she gripped my hands, holding them in her tiny ones. "I saw Kylar and he wasn't _here._ He's _always _been here since I was told about him. I can't take him anywhere else because he looks too much like me and I don't want the Council to find out about him. I… He looked afraid."

"Why did he look afraid?"

"I don't know. He was running, too. I heard sirens wailing and he was breathing quickly. I didn't hear anyone but him. The lights were bright, but it was dark at the same time."

"Do you think it was a premonition of some sort?"

My eyes widened. "What if he gets kidnapped? What if someone knows about what's going on with me? What if –"

She pressed her fingers against my lips and shushed me quietly. "Hey, you're jumping to the worst case scenarios, my love. It could've been nothing. Your first assumption is that he'd be kidnapped. That's always been your fear, hasn't it?" I nodded and she rubbed over my lips. "I know you don't want to lose your baby, Ani. It's every parent's worst fear. I know you're very sensitive to anything that happens to him. Like when he fell on the pavement last week. You freaked out and assumed he was dying and needed help because it was an emergency. The worst he did was scrape his knee."

"I get… jumpy," I admitted, "when he's hurt. I don't like seeing him hurt. I don't like him being covered in blood either. He was brought to me covered in blood, in his…" I trailed off as a sudden burst of images flashed through my mind. The blanket he was wrapped in when he came to me had been covered in his mother's blood. I didn't even know _how _they knew he was mine, but I'm glad he was brought to me. Ahsoka understood where the story was going and she didn't push it.

"Do you want to talk about his mother? I know that's been troubling you. Did you… _love _her?"

I shook my head. "There was no love on my part. I don't even know what drove me to have sex with her. I… wasn't in my right mind. She was attractive and had such a sweet voice and a cute smile. I fell for it and fell into her bed. That had been the last time we actually saw each other or spoke to each other."

"Do you regret not staying with her very long?"

I turned the light on, dimming it, looking at her. "I don't regret not falling in love with her or staying with her. I regret not being there when she found out she was having my baby, when she had my baby, and when she was taking care of my baby. I felt selfish. She knew I was a Jedi and she wouldn't risk my reputation by telling me she had my son." I paused. "I wish she _had _ruined my reputation. I wish I'd gotten to watch him come into the galaxy. I wish I'd been able to watch him grow in his first three years. I missed out on the beginning of his life…"

She stroked my chest gently. "You're in his life now, Ani, and that's what matters."

"I won't be for long," I said morbidly.

"I'm trying to find ways to save you, Anakin. I haven't stopped trying. I can't find anyone who can help you. I…"

"You're losing sleep over something that's bound to happen regardless of the help I do or don't receive."

I watched her fingers tense and I could tell she was resisting the urge to slap me. I assumed she'd hit me pretty hard if she went through with it. "Will you _stop _being so _negative?_" she said, seething. I frowned and nodded, which calmed her, but only a little. "I'm so tired of you talking this way about your injury. It _hurts _me. I told you that!"

I moved, holding the sides of her face gently, rubbing my thumbs over her skin, urgently trying to get her to stay quiet. Kylar shifted in the bed and rolled over. I watched him and so did she. At the exact same moment, we both looked back to one another and frowned. I gently pulled her face towards mine, pressing my cool lips against hers. She shivered, but didn't push me away. My lips were practically blue now. I didn't know how she could stand kissing me like this… "I'm sorry," I whispered. "When I think about it, I'm not entirely all that positive. I don't know how I'm not dead yet, Ahsoka, and it scares me. I don't want to be playing with him or giving him a bath or making love to you when I drop. _Neither _of you deserves that. I want to be able to die in my sleep when no one else is awake. I'm not saying it'll be easier for you if I die during the night, but at least you won't have to watch me suffer as I die."

She started sobbing and I frowned. I moved her legs and got off the bed. I was _freezing_, more than freezing. I was frozen beneath the covers, now I was so much worse without them. I stood in front of her, holding my arms out. She turned and got up, standing before collapsing against my body. Her arms wound around me and I kissed her montral tips. "I-I d-don't want to lose you," she whispered.

She'd been given weeks to prepare herself for my death, but I _knew _her too well. Ahsoka had a crush on me when she first met me, before she first met me. She'd always had a soft, sensitive spot for me, as I did her. Now that we were together, in love, it made this kind of separation harder. It wasn't like I'd be gone on a mission for a month and have no way of seeing or talking to her. This was an eternal separation. We would _never _be together again once I died. I told her I'd wait for her in the afterlife, but I had no kriffing idea what would happen there. I didn't know if I'd have a consciousness at all. I didn't know if I'd actually _be _waiting for her.

I rubbed her back slowly. "I don't want to leave you. I never wanted to. I'm sorry for being so morbid about this. I'm pissed off because I can't be with you. I never wanted to be without you."

"I know, Anakin. I really do. I... I wish we had more time together. I wanted to be with you and marry you and start a family with you." She rubbed her face against my chest and I frowned, getting sadder with each passing moment that she talked. I didn't want to stop her though. I loved her and I knew she needed to release some of her pent up emotions before she drowned in them. "I want you to stay, Anakin. I want you to stay with me."

I couldn't promise her that I'd stay, but... "I promise I'll hold on for as long as I can, my Soka. I don't want to be anywhere without you, but you can't come with me after this. I need you to stay here and... take care of my baby." I kissed her montral. "He's now your baby."

"_Our_ baby," she corrected. "I didn't have him for you, but I am with you and I love your son. He is _our _son, Anakin. I'll never treat him otherwise. He's my baby boy."

I grabbed and held her hips, staring into her eyes lovingly. I felt my eyes starting to water and I blinked the tears away before they could fall. "Thank you so much. Ahsoka, you'll be a perfect mom. I'm sorry I'm kind of forcing it on you, but… You have no idea how much it means to me." I slid my arms around to her back and pulled her against me. "He hasn't had a mother figure in a long time and she was just a vague memory to him."

"Anakin, what was his mother like?"

"She was sweet and beautiful. I rescued her from a collapsing building more than seven years ago. I made sure she got home safe, we talked a little, we drank a little. Things… happened. I woke up the next morning with a massive headache. I vaguely remembered what happened the night before and I realized that I'd done something I shouldn't have when I saw her beside me." I swallowed quietly and looked away from her. "I was an adulterer. I hadn't meant to be, but I was. I tried to keep it from Padme because I felt horrible. I kept it from her for three years – the duration of the Clone War, before his mother was killed. I knew she was dead, but I didn't know I had a son." I laughed quietly. "He was brought to Padme and me. Genetic tests done by a private droid had proved him to be linked to me and I was the only biological family he had left to even be considered eligible as his guardian."

She stroked my jaw. "Were you happy when he was brought to you?"

I frowned. "No. Not in the slightest. I spent weeks making sure the tests were accurate. I did several myself and they all proved that he was. I told Padme and she kicked me out and said things that essentially meant she never wanted me to come back again."

Ahsoka rubbed my chest gently and smiled up at me sweetly. "Well, I love you as much as I love your son. You're both very sweet men. He looks like you and acts like you."

I chuckled, hugging her to me. "I want him to have the same morals as I do. I want him to treat his future wife the right way."

Gears must've turned in Ahsoka's head after I said that because she immediately lifted her head up to stare at my face. "Anakin Skylar Skywalker, will you marry me?"


	7. Chapter 7

**POV: Ahsoka Tano**

A whole week had gone by and Anakin was still, miraculously, alive. He'd accepted the proposal after a bit of reluctance. I had him see it my way and I drew him in. He promised me that, if he lived long enough, he'd propose to _me _properly. I went out and bought us both rings. I wanted him bound to me whether it was official or not. I considered Anakin my husband already even though he said we were just engaged. Being his fiancé wasn't enough for me, honestly. I loved him to death and I didn't want him to die not knowing that.

He looked like he was getting better, but that happened before, too. He had his bad days, his good days, and his really bad days. I'd, technically, lost him three times already in the last month. I told him I wanted him to get checked by a droid other than Threepio and he fought me on it. Of course, we'd kept it quiet so we wouldn't worry Ky, but we still fought.

He _did _give into me this morning and indulged my wishes for him to go to a proper medical facility. He also answered Obi-Wan's transmission finally and was requested to return to Coruscant immediately. It was a big decision for him to make. He wouldn't leave me here alone with his son right now and he didn't want to bring Kylar to Coruscant where he could risk everything upon people discovering he had a son.

I came out of the refresher to find Anakin waiting for me on the couch. We'd just fought this morning about him going to a medical facility and it ended pretty badly. I imagined he felt as bad as I did. I watched him carefully and walked over to him slowly. His hand was clenching the arm of the couch and his shoulders look tense. I stopped moving and breathing, closing my eyes. I hadn't even heard him move, but I felt his lips press against mine gently. I opened my eyes and looked up at him as he lifted my chin with his thumb. "I'm sorry," he whispered. He looked into my eyes sincerely and I believed him. "I said things I don't mean and I love you, Ahsoka."

I smiled at him. "I'm sorry for the things I said to you, baby. You didn't –"

He interrupted me, chuckling as he rubbed my chin with his thumb. "Sometimes _I _need a good kick in the ass, Soka." I hugged him gently and he held my head against him, rubbing my montrals. "Thank you, Ahsoka, for not giving up on me. I'm sorry for being so aggressive with you lately. I _do _love you."

"I love you, too, Anakin." I held his sides, rubbing them before squeezing gently. I pulled away and looked up at his face to see the beautiful smile I'd been missing for the last few days. "Sweetheart, what are you going to do about the Council?"

His smile faltered and I immediately regretted bringing it up to him. I loved his smile and now I'd killed it once again. He lifted his eyes back to mine and rubbed his thumb across my cheekbone. "I'm going back with Kylar," he whispered. "I'll tell them he's mine and that I'm spending my last days with him, Ahsoka. I don't care what they do. They can banish me. I'm dying anyway." His eyes grew dull as he nonchalantly looked at me. "It won't matter anymore."

"Anakin –" Kylar's tiny footsteps distracted us both. He spun around and I faced the young boy. We both looked down at him and saw how sad he looked. Anakin, being the only father I knew with as quick a reaction as he had, was knelt in front of him in a flash, brushing his hair back.

He kissed Ky's forehead and held his shoulder with one hand. "What's wrong, kiddo?"

"Are you leaving me again, daddy?" he asked his father, tears forming in his eyes. I felt Anakin's sorrow like an explosion.

He tried to play it off though. He liked to pretend he didn't matter, that his feelings and thoughts didn't matter to anyone. He thought he wasn't important because he was 'on his deathbed.' The poor man didn't realize that he had his son and me to love him to death. "No, baby."

"Then where are you going?"

"Daddy's going to take you to where he runs off to all the time. I want you to come with me and Ahsoka. Is that okay with you?" I knew he wasn't really giving Kylar the option of saying no. He just wanted to know is all. Anakin was determined to take Ky with us back to Coruscant and, once his mind was set, that was pretty much the end of the conversation. He couldn't be debated.

Ky nodded and Anakin smiled. He told Ky to go pack up some clothes and toys in one of his packs. Ky ran into Anakin's room and grabbed the pack, taking it into his own room to begin putting his belongings inside of it. I watched Anakin as he spun back to face me, moving quickly, taking my hand. I stared into his eyes and I saw what he wanted.

I took the initiative and led him into his room. I pulled him in and closed the door, locking it. He didn't want sex right now. He just wanted to be alone with me. He didn't want Kylar to see him for whatever his reasoning was and I assumed it was important. He gripped my hands tightly and kissed my knuckles. "What's wrong, Ani?"

His eyes grew sadder. "I want you to promise me something." Already, I knew this wasn't good. The way he looked, the way his voice sounded, it was going to be another depressing statement about his pending death. He released my hands and held the sides of my face. "If you still love me after I'm gone, promise me you'll never let another man love my son. I'm his father. I don't want him to have another father."

I rubbed his chest and smiled through teary eyes. "He'll never have another daddy, Ani. You're his daddy. No one can take that from you. No one can replace you." I pressed my head against his chest and his arms wound around me. "You're his father, Anakin. You brought him into this world. He'll never forget that."

He started sobbing, his face pressed against my montrals. I could feel the inner torment he was facing. He was trying to keep it in, trying to stop it from being obvious to me. I wrapped my arms around him and clutched the back of his shirt. "I don't want to die," he whispered.

He held me tightly and I returned the amount of firmness. "I won't stop trying to find a way to save you, Anakin."

"It's hopeless," he said, his voice full of hopelessness. He had given up a while ago on thinking he'd make it. He felt like he was being punished for something he'd done wrong because he had survived this long. Ky started banging on the door and Anakin jumped against me, startled. He pulled away from me and held my shoulders, staring into my eyes sorrowfully. "Do you promise to never make him see another man as a father?" he whispered.

I lifted my hand to stroke his hair out of his face. "I promise. There will never be another man in my life but you and Ky. I will take care of him, Anakin. I won't let him forget you. He'll keep your legacy alive."

He wiped his raw, tear-filled eyes and nodded, silently thanking me though he couldn't speak at this particular moment. I was afraid that he'd begin crying once again. I knew he was hurting. I wouldn't deny him that. I just didn't like to watch him hurt. I didn't like how powerless I was. I was meant to make him happy and he was miserable… "I'm going to clean my face off. Can you let him in?"

I nodded as he went towards the refresher in his bedroom. I opened the door for Ky and he came in, excited as can be. He looked around for Anakin and his smile died when he didn't find his father. "Where's daddy?"

"He's in the refresher. He'll be out in a minute, Ky."

"Soka?" He looked up at me and I knew this wouldn't be good either. Anakin's son was too smart for his own good. I raised my eye marking in question, and he continued. "Is my daddy going to get in trouble when we go wherever he's taking us?"

I shrugged and knelt in front of him. "I don't know, Ky. I don't think daddy cares if he gets in trouble at this point. He wants things to be better for the two of you, for you mainly. He loves you a lot, Ky. Don't ever forget that, okay?" I brushed his hair back and he smiled. "Daddy loves you a lot more than you realize."

Ky hugged me and I felt like a good person. Even with Anakin struggling to survive every day, Ky still managed to be a happy, little boy. He knew something was wrong with his daddy, but he just assumed it was an illness because Anakin told him that so many times.

Ky pulled away when the refresher door opened and Ani stepped out of it. The younger boy was staring at his father, smiling widely. I could feel Anakin's heart breaking without even looking at him. He came over to us and held his arms out for Ky to jump into. He held Kylar in his arms and I went to grab all of our packs.

Anakin stood on the veranda, talking to Kylar in his arms. I could hear him and he was giving a speech that was meant to sound like he just wanted Kylar to know he cared, but I knew it was about him fearing that he wouldn't make it once we got to Coruscant. "Daddy will always watch over you, baby," he whispered. "You'll never be alone. I will _always _be right beside you."

"You say that a lot, daddy." I saw the way Kylar looked up at Anakin and he _knew._ It was impossible to say how he knew, but he _did._ I could tell by the way he moved his hand around his father's wound. He wasn't touching the _one _part that would hurt Anakin the most. "I'll never forget my daddy."

I could just feel Anakin's waterworks wanting to explode again, so I stepped closer to them and rubbed his back. He glanced over his shoulder at me and smiled, his eyes watery. He carried Kylar towards a small fighter that he'd changed to suit his family needs and set him down in the back, strapping him in. He took the packs from me and set them in beside Ky. I liked how Anakin had modified this fighter. Normally, it was meant for one person. He'd managed to make it available to three. He straightened up and stared directly into my eyes. He slid his thumb over my cheekbone and smiled. "I love you," he whispered, his voice strained.

I pulled his face closer to mine and pressed my lips against his, moving them at a slow pace. We parted a few moments later and I smiled. "I love you, Ani."

I rested my hand on a good part of his chest and he moved it above his heart, where his wound was. I could feel his heart pounding and his smile grew wider. He got in my head and whispered, "_Even though I'm dying, this is what you do to my heart, Ahsoka._" I smiled at him and his face just lit up in that moment. "_You'll always be my Snips…_"

He always gave me warm feelings when he called me that. It was a cute nickname that he'd given me shortly after meeting me at the beginning of the Clone War. I giggled and took his hand in mine and lifted it to my face, kissing his knuckles. I lifted my eyes to meet his and fell even more in love with him at the sight of his happiness despite the hell he was going through from day to day. "You'll always be my Skyguy."


	8. Chapter 8

**POV: Anakin Skywalker**

Before we even landed on Coruscant, I contacted the Council. Well, I contacted _Obi-Wan._ I knew he'd pass my message on to the Council though. It saved me from dealing with Windu's rage right now. I didn't tell Obi-Wan _everything _though. I was going to surprise them with my young son. They wouldn't be able to tear him away from me if they tried. Ahsoka vowed she would do everything to keep Ky and me together, even if that meant she totally risked her own life.

We touched down on Coruscant, hit the landing strip, and got ready to leave the ship. I sighed and turned to look at Ky. He was beaming at me, so excited, so happy. He finally got to leave Alderaan. He'd lived there all his life and now I was taking him on an adventure. He unbuckled himself and leapt towards me, ready to go immediately. He didn't understand how afraid I was of actually confronting the Council. Ahsoka and I wouldn't let them take Ky.

We walked into the temple, fear swirling around Ahsoka and me. Ky held my hand and smiled at all the Jedi who gave him mysterious looks. No one had seen him before, but they all knew the dirty secret. The boy looked _exactly _like me in many ways. I squeezed his hand and he looked up at me. He looked so happy and I felt bad for bringing him here where so many people would look at us in disgrace.

I continued with the two of them quickly, my head bowed slightly. I felt ashamed, not because I had a son, but because I, as the Chosen One, had disgraced the sacred rules of the Order. Sure, marrying Padme had broken one. I don't know if having a child was against the rules though. Being with Ahsoka broke that same one that I'd broken with Padme. I'd broken several others throughout the entirety of my time here and everyone knew it. We went to our dorm first and Ky looked around in awe. It wasn't anything special. It was just two beds and overall just a plain room in itself. I figured Ky could take Ahsoka's bed and she and I could share my bed for the time being, if we came back after the Council meeting, that is.

He let go of my hand, dashing onto one of the beds, bouncing and laughing. His smile warmed my heart. Ahsoka came closer and I held her against my side. She rested one hand on my chest and watched him with me. She loved seeing him like this as much as I did and I knew she'd be the perfect guardian for him once I was gone. "Daddy, come sit with me."

I kissed her montral, crossing to sit beside him, holding him to me. "You know something, Ky?" He looked up at me, slightly confused. He still had that adorable smile, but I saw the confusion in his eyes and felt it emanating from him. I brushed his hair back and kissed the crown of his head. "Daddy loves you more than anything." All of this was so new to him. He'd barely left the home I'd bought _just _for him and now I'd taken him off planet. He was thrilled, scared, and unsure. Ky nuzzled his face into my side and I looked up at Ahsoka, feeling her eyes on me.

"_Ani,_" she whispered into my mind. I could see the tears forming in her eyes and I wanted to get up and wipe them away so badly. I felt her pain and watched her lips tremble as she nervously rubbed her wrist.

"Come here," I pleaded through our bond. She shook her head and I knew it was because she wanted me to have time with my son. The thing is, I had the least amount of time left with _both _of them. I wanted Ahsoka as much as I wanted Kylar. "_Now_," I whispered roughly.

She hesitated, but moved towards me and I lifted my mechno to rub her tears away. She smiled weakly at me, her eyes staring into mine longingly. I asked her to tell me what was going on and she complied very easily. "_Ani, it's so hard to see you two like this knowing that you won't be here with us much longer. I wish the Council would leave you alone. I wish I could take you somewhere. I want to be alone with you and Ky._"

"Shh," I whispered. "It's okay. It's okay, Ahsoka. Listen to me. I know…" I trailed off, biting my lip as I stared up at her. "I know I haven't been the most optimistic considering the fact that I'm dying, but I will _try _to find a way to stay alive. I can't guarantee that I can live as I would have had I not been injured critically, but I will _try _for you and for Kylar."

She nodded and rubbed her own eyes. "_I love you, Ani._"

"I love you too, my Soka." Kylar decided to go play with some of the toys he'd brought along with him, so Ahsoka sat beside me on the bed, watching him with me. She held my hand between us and leaned her head against my shoulder. I felt very, very _sad._ I was able to shield that from her, but I couldn't help it if it broke through all of a sudden. I wanted to promise her that I would be okay, but I couldn't. It was a blasted miracle that I'd lived this long when I'd only had a short amount of time promised to me. I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed it, closing my eyes. When I opened my eyes, her sad ones locked with mine. "Don't be sad, my love."

Kylar looked over at us as I stroked her cheek. "Daddy, why is Soka sad?" He was so innocent and I wished I could keep it that way. I wished I could will him to live in complete innocence until I was sure he could handle it, but, even then, I wasn't sure when he would be able to handle such things. As his father, I wanted to protect him from the miseries and pains he will experience in his life, but I _can't _do that for the rest of his life.

"Ky…" I rubbed over Ahsoka's lower lip gently before looking at my son, a mirror image of me at his age. "Daddy has something very important to tell you."

He got up from the floor and brushed his knees off, coming towards us. I could feel Ahsoka trembling against me already. "What is it, daddy?"

Unwanted tears slid down my cheeks. "Ky baby, daddy is…" I stared into his small, blue eyes. The excitement and happiness in them would fade away for sure once I told him this and I wished I didn't have to do this. I didn't want him to know that his father was dying. I didn't want him to look at his daddy and see a man shriveling away day by day. "Daddy is…dying," I whispered, breaking as I said the word. His _pain _was a _blow _to my heart. It was much worse than any injury I had faced in my lifetime. I sobbed uncontrollably and pulled him against me, getting the same reaction from him.

I didn't _care _that my chest was in pain as a result of how tightly I held his head against me. This was my baby boy. "Don't die, daddy," he pleaded, crying as hard as I was. Ahsoka was trying to stay quiet, but I felt her turmoil too. She had always been terrible at lying to or hiding things from me. I seemed to lose control of my voice. I muttered 'I'm sorry' repeatedly, my voice strangled. "Please, daddy."

The only thing that managed to stop the sob-fest was the fact that my com went off. I knew the Council wanted to speak with us now and that meant we would face the consequences. Rather, _I _would face the consequences for having my beautiful son. There had been no marriage to speak of, not even the basics of a relationship, with Kylar's mother. I hadn't felt an attachment to her, but…we had created this little boy. I held him against me and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand. Ahsoka went for the com and I gently pushed Kylar back to look into his eyes. "Daddy _will _try, baby." His eyes were raw and his cheeks were tearstained. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you." As I spoke, my lips quivered. I was on the verge of breaking down again. I _knew _it. "I love you and I hope you still love me, Ky."

He nodded, taking my hands, which surprised me. He grasped my fingers tightly and stared up at my face. "You're my daddy. I'll always love you." I smiled a genuine smile, my heart warming up. If I wasn't going to cry over the fact that I'd told my beloved son that I was dying, I was surely going to break over the fact that my son was the sweetest little boy I have ever had the pleasure of knowing as personally as I did. Again, he surprised me. He took his hands from mine and lifted his own to wipe the tears away from my eyes and cheeks. I laughed lightly, smiling at him, receiving a smile in return.

I ran my fingers through his hair and leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "Daddy has always loved you."

I couldn't help but continue to smile as his tiny fingers slid over my cheeks. I didn't know what he was doing or trying to do, but I had the strange feeling that he was trying to comfort _me._ "I'm not going to let you die, daddy." He stared into my eyes and held my gaze. "You're a hero. You can't die." My lips parted and my eyes widened. _That _hurt. My baby thought I was invincible. "I promise I'll help you, daddy."

I decided to slip out of my stunned and hurt state and back into my previous one, where I could smile and be genuinely happy. "Hey," I said, laughing, playing with his hair. "I'm supposed to be taking care of you, not the other way around, baby boy." He made adorable giggling sounds and my smile spread, going from ear to ear. I looked up at Ahsoka as she turned back to us. I stared at her expectantly and she nodded. "Ky, Soka and daddy have to talk to the Council. You need to come with us, okay?" He nodded and I continued. "You're going to see different kinds of people in that room, so don't be afraid, all right? Ahsoka and I will protect you no matter what. Don't be scared."

"Yes, daddy." I stood up as he backed up. Ahsoka came closer to me and rested her hands on my chest, staring up at my face. She knew I was trying to hide my hurt. I couldn't fool her, not with the way I felt right now.

I held her hands on my chest and spoke with her through our bond with Kylar's curious eyes on us. "We are going to get the biggest and worst scolding in Jedi Council history, my love. Are we going to be open with our relationship as well?"

"_We might as well be. You have a son. I love you and I will stand by you._"

I smiled at her, rubbing her knuckles. "I know I have always had your support, Ahsoka, and I appreciate it very much. I love you very much." I leaned closer to her face and pressed my lips against hers, closing my eyes. I still held her hands on my chest and I felt her fingers curl into my chest. When we parted, I saw the saddened love in her eyes. I looked down at my son and saw that same thing in his own eyes.

I loved my Soka and my Kylar more than anything. I _had _to stop being so pessimistic and start looking for answers, for solutions, for _something. _I had to be strong enough to pull through this. I _had _to live for _them._


End file.
